Friday, August 3, 2012

The Trip

As all of you have probably realized by now, I was not able to access this blog from China. Seriously, that was probably a good thing, as I was too overwhelmed and too wiped out to put together sentences much more complicated than, "No,"  "Yes," and "Where are the diapers?" 

It's been nice to have time to think before I write.  In fact, I have to have time to process before I can write anything.

Last night, in a moment of fleeting "I may live past this god-forsaken jet lag" joy I read (well, skimmed) one of my favorite blogs, Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary  Her latest blog entry covers their move from Costa Rica to the States and is entitled  "Somehow, we all lived..."   I just finished rereading what I wrote last night in her comments box.  This is the real, off the cuff, no editing, state of my head and heart right now:  

"We got home from CHINA  Saturday with our new two year old. We trekked across China and the US with a grieving (did I say, "fit throwing?"  ) two year old with a leaky urine bag and a catheter that does not "seal" over her bladder. We were delayed and cancelled, we rode in taxis, planes, buses, a rickshaw, even a train. We (painfully!) hadn't seen her brothers, ages nearly 5 and 6, in two and half weeks....exhausted? SHE DOES NOT SLEEP.  I can't even put long enough sentences together to explain to anybody how just exactly emotionally (tapped out) I am. And, I won't be able to for a while.  Yes, I chose this. Yes, I am glad that I did. But yes, sometimes, the best you can say is, "we lived."  :) I'm freaking proud of you for being able to make any sort of blog entry at all."

Every blog entry is "prepared" in some manner.  It is edited and rewritten and etc. The above little paragraph was minimally "prepared."  So, if by some miracle, I manage to make our trip to China sound like a family vacation, it wasn't. ( It was also one of the most amazing things that I've ever done in my life, I hope that that comes across HUGELY, most of all.)  And, on the flip-side, if I begin to ramble in weird directions, you'll understand that too. :)  

Here goes  -you know, it's gonna take a few blog entries, right?  :)


  1. Glad to have met you in the "bus" in Nanning :-)

  2. I've been praying for you today- I remember those feelings so well! What you are feeling and the exhaustion of transition is normal, give yourself lots of grace because it does take time. Like months. Use paper plates for dinner, say yes if someone offers to bring you a meal, hole up in your house for as long as you feel like it and feel free to say no if you aren't up for visitors. Praying for Lyric too- as hard as her outward grief is and as hard as it is to remember in the moment, it's good- because it's coming out and it means she cared deeply for her foster family and will care deeply for her new forever family even more. Much love to you all- our transition home was way harder than I thought it would be and now? I feel like I'm almost getting to a level of normal... and you will too!! MUCH love~ Jess

  3. Jess, you have no idea how many times I thought of you guys and how often I've drawn strength from stuff that you've said. Ting the Owl puts Lyric to bed every time she goes down (she went to China with us.) I sing, then put her down, "Here's your bottle and your blanket and here's Ting-Ting to keep you company." :) It makes me smile every time. Last night she and Ting went right to sleep, no crying!

  4. That's so sweet!! This morning me & the kiddos stayed home from church because I am not feeling tops, and we prayed for you guys. I showed them a picture of Lyric and asked the boys if they remembered when Ting first came home how much she cried and threw fits and needed mama to rock her and help her calm down and they nodded their heads vigorously:) and took turns praying for Lyric. Then it was Ting's turn and she started out her usual nightly prayer praying for everyone in our family, then she said 'Lyric ouchie, cwying, mama help her'... it brought a tear to my eye and I thought how our girls will always have a special connection.

    We'll continue to pray for you guys lots over the coming weeks and months!!